I have always looked at runners with awe, marveling at Usain Bolt’s races and listening to my dad’s stories about his past track days. He sprinted faster than anyone at his school and endured years of 5k warm-ups. These stories have always ignited a spark of curiosity in me about the sport of running. However, I never felt like I was good enough to start. I constantly compared myself to other runners, convinced I could never achieve what they could and fearing I’d make a fool of myself. With each passing year, it seemed I had missed the opportunity; like it was always too late. Could I commit to something knowing I might never match up to others? Part of me needed to find out, but another, more prevalent part, was terrified. 

This year, though, I finally felt brave enough to join the cross-country team. I recognized the need to break the habit of comparing myself to others and instead focus on pushing my own limits. Yet, it wasn’t easy. Every time someone passed me, my legs felt like giving out, and anxiety penetrated my thoughts. It was as if everyone on that field was scrutinizing me, and I imagined them laughing at how I struggled to complete my ten laps. In reality, they were probably preoccupied with comparing their own times.  

My dad’s stories —  something that had normally inspired me — had become a reminder of my inevitable failure and a source of self-doubt. He had been running his whole life, so why did I feel consumed with shame when I had only been doing track for a short period of time? 

I think part of me will always look at my achievements with a sort of gnawing bitterness, thinking that someone else did it better. I grew up exposed to the media’s portrayal of  “perfection”, always comparing myself to these idealized standards. This culture of comparison has even permeated into our campus. We need to shift our focus from what everyone else is doing to whether we are reaching the goals we’re setting for ourselves. 

Recently, I ran a 5k race. I was terrified, and feared I would finish last and that people would belittle me as I struggled to reach the finish line — but, to my surprise,  I was wrong. While I was one of the last ones to finish, I didn’t feel the shame I had expected. In fact, as they read out my time, I even felt a sense of pride wash over me; it was the fastest I had ever run a 5k. Rather than feeling jealousy towards those who had finished far before me, I marveled at my own growth. 

Cross country helped me realize that comparing my progress to others’ accomplishments was a sad way to view my journey. We should focus on our well-being and personal growth rather than constantly measuring ourselves against others.

Graded’s Cross Country program has an incredible community of students who motivate each other and push themselves far beyond what they think they are capable of. Megan Greenwood, one of the Graded cross country captains, sheds light on how remarkable the team is,  “when someone finishes a race, instead of thinking about how they did themselves, everyone cheers for that person. This creates a safe environment”. Greenwood has been doing cross country for a long time and has come to love the sport. Her experience with the Graded cross country team helped her notice how “you make friends and have a supportive community around you. You’re competing against yourself. It helps you realize how it’s about yourself and not people around you”. The safe and motivating environment that has been cultivated due to this sport helps Graded students understand how growth is something you push yourself to achieve; it should always be yourself against yourself, and the Graded Cross Country team helps many truly comprehend the importance of that. 

I reached the end of that nerve-wracking 5k run and realized that the most important thing was my improvement. Running allowed me to concentrate on what I wanted to achieve, free from external comparisons. We must learn to stop enabling standards of what should be and not be. Each of us has a unique place in this world, and we should be our own leaders in personal growth. Self-improvement isn’t linear; it comes with detours that may cause our progress to stagnate. But it’s only truly achieved when we focus on our own development, not others; we need to set goals that are plausible to ourselves, not derived from those around us. When we constantly fixate on what people around us are doing, we lose sight of ourselves and become too focused on trying to be someone else. It may take time to change this mindset, but we must all take steps to focus on our individual growth rather than constantly comparing ourselves to others.